Thoughts on Running

run forrest, run.

Just got back from a run around the block.  Here's my takeaway:

• I am very very very very out of shape
• One mile feels like a marathon when you haven't worked out in a while
• 12 minutes feels like an hour when you haven't worked out in a while
• I have an old prison AND an abandoned mental asylum within a 1-mile radius of my new house
• Running past said prison and asylum got my adrenaline pumping & feet moving
• I mentally curse obscene amounts while exercising... must be a coping mechanism

side effects.
sore throat, cold/dry chest, wheezing, coughing, numb fingers, racing heart, and exhaustion.

thoughts while running.

{CAUTION} the following contains adult language ;)

Okay, three miles, I can do this... [STARTS JOGGING] damn, I am so out of shape ...I wonder how far I've run ...it must be at least 3 miles... I won't check my distance until the end of this street ...oh fuck it ...[CHECKS DISTANCE] WHAT!? only half a mile!? Why the hell do people run for "fun?" ...what is this mystical "runners high" people speak of? ...why don't I get high when I run?

...Jesus, I can't breathe ...what are the symptoms of a heart attack again? ...I think I'm having a goddamn heart attack ...I'm just gonna walk until the chorus of this song, and then I'll start jogging again... Or maybe I'll just wait until the next song starts ...[NEXT SONG STARTS] well this is a horrible running song... next one I'll definitely run...

Okay, time to jog... just pretend someone is chasing you, that's the best motivation ...whew! okay, enough of that ...good thing no one is really chasing me, I'd be dead within minutes ...I'd probably die of exhaustion before the kidnapper even gets to me ...Shit, I look so tired, I bet I'm an easy target for kidnappers ...don't look tired ...just breathe

...Fuck three miles, I'm just going to do a little loop today... I hope no one I know drives by and sees me dying on the side of the road ...you're almost done! ..I can see the house from here ...Why hasn't my Nike+ app announced the one-mile marker yet, I've definitely done more than a mile [NIKE VOICE: "1 MILE COMPLETE; 12 MINUTES AND 28 SECONDS"] ...oh, there it is ...I can't believe that was only a mile! ...I feel like I've been out here for hours...

thoughts immediately after running.

Yay, I made it! UGH, THANK GOD THAT'S OVER! Now I'm just going to sit down and chug water before I faint... How did I let myself get this out of shape? ..I shouldn't have drank all that water so fast; now I feel like I'm going to puke ...I just want to curl into a ball and die

later that night...

Man, I'm so happy I went for a run; that felt great! ...I could totally go for another run right now ...why did I stop so early, I totally could have pushed myself to go further...