Summer Self Evaluation

#augustfails

• 4 Week Weight Loss Challenge (this lasted a whole day before I forgot to track my points)
• Being Vegan (I totally fell off the bandwagon for the month of August, now I'm trying to hop back on)
• The Master Cleanse (how the hell did I do a whole 10 days of it last summer!?)
• Blogging (well sorta.. I've been semi-decent; not terrible)
• Budgeting/Tracking Expenses (I make a budget, but it doesn't work because I don't follow it)
• DietBet (won the first one, but gave up on the second one)

Wow! I am absolutely horrible at following through with things.  I don’t know what’s wrong with my brain.  I start with all the best intention the world, but things just seem to fall through.  As such, I identified a few problem areas...

problem areas.

• INDECISIVENESS I don’t have one singe clear goal; instead I have lots of half-assed goals.  In true Libra fashion, I can't make a decision for the life of me.

• PERFECTIONISM I like when things are perfect.  I always wait for the perfect time to start something, but 99% of the time there is no perfect time. I need to learn to adapt and accommodate.  I'm the girl that uses 5 pages of notebook paper because I don't like how I wrote the header.  In elementary school I would take 2 copies of every worksheet (just in case I didn't like my handwriting)

• ALL-OR-NOTHING MENTALITY If I mess up or “cheat”  I consider it a failure and give up altogether.  I think this goes hand-in-hand with perfectionism.  I definitely don’t try to do this.  I try to keep my standards realistic. It's just so hard.

• LAZINESS This is a big one; also a self-explanatory one.  I'm too lazy to elaborate...

• UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS I expect too much, too fast – I don't necessarily expect overnight results, but if I don't see results in a week, I definitely get discouraged/frustrated/down-on-myself.

• PROCRASTINATION I put things off. "Oh I’ll start going to the gym next week" ..."My diet starts Monday" ..."Due tomorrow? Do tomorrow" ...I put things off so often that half the time I never get around to starting

• IMPULSIVENESS I tend to act before I think.  Cookie in front of me? Don’ mind if I do… Trendy dress?  Yes please, I'm sure I'll find an excuse to wear eventually (note: I usually don't) ...Do I want to go to the bar on a Tuesday night before an exam? Hell yeah I do, YOLO... It's bad. Real bad.

• SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS I constantly feel like I'm being judged because I'm always judging myself.  I hate my nose, my hair, my tummy, my scars.  The list goes on and on and on... I never feel worthy of a cute guys attention, I'm super awkward in social situations, and I can't help but think that people wish they were hanging out with someone funner/cooler/prettier than me.  Out of all the things I dislike about myself, I hate my lack of confidence the most. It's a major fun-sucker.

Sooo what’s the solution to all this?  I have no idea...

New 'About' Page!

Weeeee! I finally made an ABOUT page for this blog :)

I also added some nifty social media buttons
<----- They're over there in the side bar

and here they are again...

Vision Statement

purpose of this blog:

• To help me stay accountable
• To remind myself of what works & what doesn't
• To keep track of highs and lows
• To record progress & changes
• To post random things that I find and like

this is my virtual "diary."

• I write in first person
• Most posts = random streams of consciousness
• Other posts = random Pinterest, YouTube, and blogging finds
• A handful of posts = random lists (I love lists!)
• Punctuation & spelling don't matter ...ain't nobody got time for that!
• I talk to myself; When I say "you," I really mean "I" (i.e. "you did it!" = "I did it!")

this blog is NOT:

• About comments, page views, or sponsors
• Written for an audience
• Perfect... nor do I want it to be

although this is my "diary," I will NOT:

• Make it ugly... I'm super OCD about making sure that paper journals look pretty, an electronic one is no exception to the rule
• Write like an 8-year-old ...or in IM-speak (I H8 wh3n ppl type lyk di$)
• Share my deepest darkest secrets
• Draw a bazillion tiny hearts around my crush's name
• ...Or practice my "Mrs. Brad Pitt" signature

and although this is a blog, I will NOT:

• Ask for advice, comments, concerns, and/or any other form of input
• ... same goes for offering advice, comments, and/or any other form of input
• Be super boring ...at least not intentionally
• Be super funny ...I try, I fail, shit gets awkward real fast

This is something that I needed to put in writing.  I don't want to lose sight of why I started this blog.  A couple of times, I've caught myself writing as if I were talking to viewers.  I need to shake that mentality.  This is MY place for MY thoughts.  No one else knows about this blog, and for now, it is going to stay that way.

Oh! Why Hello There

here i am.

With a college degree successfully under my belt, it is time to start a new chapter -- yay!  I've decided to take control of my life, and finally become the person I've always dreamed of becoming.  I know it won't be easy; I know it won't be a straightforward; and I know it won't be immediate... Hell, I don't even know if it will be worth it!  However, I do know that it is something I want, and it is something I am ready to work my ass off for.  I can do this. I will do this.

note to self:

This blog is going to be my digital diary.  I am using it for purely personal purposes.  My posts will have little rhyme or reason.  I will not write to entertain, satisfy, or persuade an audience.  I will not filter my thoughts in fear of criticism.  I will not edit my writing style in an attempt to sound more sophisticated and/or witty.  I will not stress over content.  I will not spend hours rewording, formatting, and proof-reading.  I will not pretend to be an expert on matters in which I have little knowledge or authority.  For once in my life I am making this ALL ABOUT ME, and it feels fucking awesome!